New Life

We are homeschoolers, so we do things a little differently around here.

Last year, when I tried to harvest some dill to make cucumbers, I discovered my plants were destroyed...by little baby swallowtail butterfly caterpillars!  I brought them inside and went to the store to buy organic dill for them to eat.  Yes.  Organic dill.  <sigh>

This year, I have been able to use my dill, but we started talking about the dearth of monarchs in our area.  Wanting to rectify the situation, we ordered monarch eggs.  Not a few.  No...that would have been normal.  I ordered 20.  At least 25 were on the plant we received!

We have all been participating in the care and feeding of the little guys.  They were SOOO teeny when they first hatched!  Now, two weeks later, they're enormous!  I cannot believe how fast they have grown in such a short time.  We are looking forward to all the chrysalises and the new butterflies!

As I sat watching (and listening!) to the little buggers crunching away, I thought of this past year.  It has not been pleasant.  We have faced real challenges - individually and as a family.  We have struggled with our gifting, our calling, our friends, our church, and our trust in the Lord.  Now, God has been faithful, without a doubt.  It's WE who have questioned and cried and prayed and groaned.  But God - He has been where He promised He would be.  With us.

My eyes fell to the instructions on raising monarchs.  I love instructions.  Love 'em.  I love guides and planners and notepads and pens and lists.  I don't always follow them, but I love them!  It should take around two weeks for the caterpillars to turn into chrysalises, then another two weeks to hatch into butterflies.

I love how caterpillars change COMPLETELY during their metamorphosis.  Apparently everything about them, organs included, change into something totally different during this time.

And I thought of the verses in Corinthians:  "behold, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old is gone, the new has come!"  I cried as I realized that these butterflies should be hatching right about the time that our "drama" should be coming to a close.  What a beautiful picture of the transformative work that Christ is doing in each of us.  Leaving nothing old that we understand, that we have had, that we could depend on apart from Him, but changing us into what He has created us to be.


A few days went by and while I was still thrilled with this idea, the "new-ness" had worn off.  Until I arrived at church on Sunday and was asked to read Scripture.  Bet you can guess what verses I had to read.

Yup.  Second Corinthians 5:17-21:  "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old has passed away, the new has come.  And all this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself, and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ, God was reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.  Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making His appeal through us.  We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.  For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that we might be the righteousness of God."

As you may imagine, I barely held it together during the reading.  Wow.  Is our God great, or what?  How He ever puts up with me, I'll never know.

But I'm oh, so grateful.

Destruction

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy....  John 10:10

The house sparrows returned two weeks ago.  They went into the tree swallows' nest box, pulled out the babies, and dropped them on the ground.

The kids were crushed...and angry.  The sparrows didn't even build a nest in that box.  All that, JUST to destroy.

We finally killed the sparrows, but it took us two weeks.  We have swallows again...in the other house where the bluebirds were before sparrows killed their babies.  The bluebirds are in the front house now, also trying again.

I took this as a teaching opportunity to remind my children...and myself...that the enemy comes to steal and kill and destroy.  He tempts us into wrong acts...and then throws those actions back in our face.  When we, when I, choose to listen to those temptations, I am joining in the stealing, killing, and destroying.  I think I am being offered something in return for my sin, but satan offers me nothing.  He wants to destroy me.

Sounds terribly depressing, doesn't it?

Well, guess what??  My God has a plan for my life that does not involve destruction.  My God loves me and guides me in the way that's best.  Even if I have fallen into the temptations offered, my God restores me, loves me, forgives me!!  Nothing can separate me from the love of God!!

Bluebirds

We had a pair of bluebirds in one of our backyard bird houses....and then we didn't.

About two weeks ago, I saw a house sparrow going into the bluebirds' house and I decided to investigate.

I discovered broken bluebird eggs (with dead baby birds still in them) around the bottom of the birdhouse.  I was sad, but was also quite concerned that the female had been killed in the house sparrow attack.  We did take care of the sparrow, by the way.

A week or so ago, I saw the female bluebird in our backyard again.  Yay!  We had seen the male bluebird flitting about here and there, but not the female for a bit.

This evening, I was sitting on my front porch steps and I saw the male bluebird fly up to the front yard birdhouse.  I was thrilled!!  They're back!  Maybe there will be a new nest and new eggs and new babies!!

I wondered why I was so excited about some silly birds.  Here's why.  Because they didn't give up.  Because they weren't beaten by that awful house sparrow.  Because it reminds me that God redeems situations that I can't see a way out of.  Because it reminds me that God isn't finished with me, no matter what mess I've gotten myself into.  Because it reminds me that God sticks with it....sticks with ME.

"being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."  -Philippians 1:6

"Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."  -Deuteronomy 31:6

Voices in My Head

I don't know about you, but my brain is ALWAYS on.  Well, except when I'm sleeping....I think.  I had a conversation about this with my oldest son (he's 15).  I asked him what he was thinking about.  "Nothing."  "Nothing?  How is that even possible?  I ALWAYS have something talking in my head!"  He tried to explain how to think of nothing:  "just think of black...just black...and then that's nothing."

Nope....

Here's my reply:  "Do you mean black like someone colored it black or black meaning an absence of light?  And if it's been colored black, is it crayons?  Pencils?  Markers?  Paint?  Oil or watercolor?  Maybe it's black fabric blocking out the light?  Velvet?  Taffeta?  Jersey?"

He rolled his eyes.  "MOM!  Stop!  Fine...just think...blue."

"What color blue?  Robin's egg?  Sky?  Aqua?"

I think he jumped out of the car at that point....I don't know, as I was still considering all the different "blue" options I had.  I'm telling you, my brain is always going - even when I want silence.  Most of the time, it's a song playing in there.  When I try to pray, there's a song.  When I'm sitting quietly, there's a song.  When I try to read my bible, there's a song.  When I watch the birds, there's a song.  I have always thought that I needed that "noise" to shut up so I could think.

Turns out I was wrong.

Over the last couple of weeks, that internal song/voice just stopped.  I don't know what happened, but it wasn't there.  I wasn't hearing, "in the middle of the storm, I'll be holding on, I am...holding on to you...." or "how great is our God, sing with me how great is our God."  And I will tell you those were the worst two weeks I think I've ever had.  I've gone through some pretty dark times in my life, but since I've become a Christian, I have NEVER doubted the way I did the past two weeks.

Saturday, the songs came back.  I don't know where they went and I don't know why, but I am not going to complain about them again.  I think they are my shield of faith.  I can't hear all the mean things the enemy is shooting at me because I have a song (based on verses) singing in my head.  I can see how Saul was soothed by David singing psalms with his harp.  I bet he was hearing the enemy and David sang truth.

1 Samuel 16:23 - Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play.  Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.

Where we should not be

2 Samuel 11:1  - In the spring, at the time when kings go off to war, David....remained in Jerusalem.

I have heard this verse preached several times in church, always talking about how David was where he should not have been, and as a result, he sinned with Bathsheba.  This point was brought home yesterday as I watched a beautiful Sandhill Crane in our neighbors' yard.  

We had just finished dinner, and I was cleaning up in the kitchen, when I heard some yelling from the dining room.  At first I ignored it, since I figured it was sibling squabbles (and hubby was in there), but then I heard, "Mom!  MOM!!"  I ran in, expecting something bad to have happened, but I was told there was a "rare crane" in the neighbors' yard.  I, of course, thought "crane" as in "machine" and wondered how it could be rare, then looked out the window to see what everyone else was seeing.

Wow!  That was cool!  A crane...not a heron...not an egret!  I grabbed my camera and ran outside to see how close I could get.  Pretty close!  The thing was NOT afraid of me at all.  We did some investigating and discovered it was a Sandhill Crane...and he (she?) was lost.  As you can see by the map, there is no reason for it to be here.  My thought is that it was blown off course in some of the recent  storms, but that is sheer conjecture.

As I was watching this amazing creature, I started to feel a bit sorry for it.  Yes, I know it's just a bird and that God has gifted it with amazing abilities to cope in challenging situations, but it struck me that it was lost and not where he should be.  Because of his situation, he was without the protection that a group of cranes provides as he hunted for food, looked for a roosting place for the night, or tried to keep watch for predators.  He was without the opportunity for a mate.  Because he was not where he should be, there was probably going to be some sort of trouble - or at least, a much higher likelihood of trouble.  There was a rocking thunderstorm last night.  I am hopeful he was able to withstand the storm.

That's me.  I try to stay away from PLACES I should not be, but controlling my thoughts and emotions from going where they should not be, well, that's often a more difficult challenge.  And when the storm comes, those thoughts and emotions are exposed, without the protection of accountability, without the safety of being under God's wing.

I am thankful for the opportunity to see such an amazing bird, and I am thankful that God reminds me, ever so gently, of my human frailty and His awesome power.

Invited?

I continue to battle with the sparrows in the yard.  I think we've gotten rid of them in the back, but just yesterday we discovered that they had built a complete nest in the front bird house!  They had not yet laid any eggs, but I'm sure they were very close.

As I was crabbing to myself about these stinkin' sparrows, I realized that these sparrows had not just "popped up" on their own; they had been invited.  Someone, with no foresight, had invited these house sparrows where they didn't belong and where they weren't wanted, under the mistaken thought that it couldn't hurt.  Here's another interesting thought - house sparrows are ONLY found near humans.

Seems to me that's very similar to sin.  Sin was invited into a perfect world, where it didn't belong and where it wasn't wanted, under the mistaken thought that it couldn't hurt - and it centers around humans.  Now, we fight a continual battle with sin.  Sometimes it's big and obvious and stubborn.  Sometimes it seems to be gone, but "pops up" when you least expect it.  Either way, it's never truly gone, it just waits to be invited back.

Persistence

Last week I told you about the house sparrows in our yard and how gleeful I was that we had gotten rid of three of them.  The count is now up to seven.  We had pulled down the traps and were ready to give them to my dad for him to use on his bluebird houses when I spotted another house sparrow.  Back into the houses the traps went....and two more sparrows were taken care of.  We pulled them down again....and in another day or two, another couple of sparrows.

I think these sparrows can be compared with sin.  I think I have a handle on a certain sin, I think I've taken my thoughts captive, I think I've allowed the Holy Spirit to work in my life, and all of a sudden, it pops back up and I have to do all that work again.

Maybe I'm trying to do too much work on my own?  Maybe I'm not allowing God to really and truly work in my life?  Maybe it's just because I'm a sinner living in a fallen world and I won't be perfect this side of heaven.

I am annoyed that it always catches me by surprise.  My son remarked this morning, when I was exasperated about the sparrows, "what do you expect?  For them to just leave?"  Yes, I do.  And yes, I guess I expect my sin to be extirpated after one try.

It's a good thing my God is the God of grace, because I certainly need it.